This Woman's Work

While few of us consider our Second Lives a mere hobby, our in-world hours usually fall within "hobby time." Most SLers have real-life families and jobs that take priority, leaving only a few precious hours a week to spend with one's in-world friends and family. The fast-paced nature of Second Life relationships highlights peoples' desire to make the most out of their limited online hours, but things get complicated for folks who run businesses or have jobs within Second Life.

Boiling Frog Syndrome
For my first year in Second Life I had no business aspirations at all. Even once I had acquired my first island, I merely considered the land use fees a justifiable entertainment expense, and operated at a calculated loss. Some time in February or March of this year I thought it would be nice to set up a little mall at my island so my designer friends could get some free exposure and sales. I slapped together a little mall and let people set up shop, rent-free. It filled up quickly, and before long I had a waiting list of people who wished to sell there. I eventually expanded the mall, but charged this time in order to control quality and to subsidize the island a bit.

Eventually I wondered, "Wouldn't it be nice if I could get my second life to pay for itself?" I then tried my hand at mainland real estate rentals and resales. Although I had some success with rentals, I was disappointed with my inability to protect my tenants from their neighbors' awful taste, so I decided island rentals were the way to go. I divested my mainland holdings and moved my tenants over to my first rental island. The island was full within a few days and I quickly reached my goal of breaking even. It was about this time that my deputy, Vivienne, began producing her first prefab skyboxes. We formed Desperation Isle Productions and went into business together.

My various businesses were paying my subscription and land use fees, but this did not cover my recreational spending. I soon found myself thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice if I never had to purchase Lindens again?" I got more islands, we diversified our product line, and so it grew. Something happened along the way, though. At first I could spend a couple days setting up an island, and then a few minutes a day here and there dealing with customers, but once Desperation East went live I found I was spending a minimum of half an hour of customer service and rental maintenance every day and various projects kept coming up, some of which occupied days or weeks of my focused time.

Like the mythical boiling frog who didn't foresee its fate until it was too late, I found myself overwhelmed by my in-world work, and not spending enough time with my partner or devoted pets; a situation I'm still struggling with today. All I wanted to do was to be self-sufficient. Ironically, I saw financial independence as a key to in-world freedom, but the opposite happened; I became a slave to my work- and my pets, my partner, and I all suffered for it.

Difficult Questions
If you're one of the few individuals who can pretty much be in-world whenever you want, this is less of an issue for you, but if you only have a few hours a week to devote to your second life you should ask yourself whether you can responsibly care for your in-world loved-ones while also maintaining and growing a business. Here are some more specific questions you can ask to assess the situation:

• Do I enjoy my work? If you're doing something you love, it's probably worthwhile to devote at least some of your time to it. But if it's not something you really have a heart for, why are you doing it at all?
• Do I need the money? If you wouldn't be able to afford your second life without some form of in-world income, and scaling back your expenses isn't an option, a Second Life job or business may be a necessary evil.
• Am I available enough to my pets? SL work requires a lot of AFK time, direct customer interaction, or hopping around the grid, depending on what you do. Are there uninterrupted time windows when you are there for your pets?
  
• Am I able to focus my attention on my pets when they're around? It's one thing to be physically near your family. It's another to be mentally available as well. If you're constantly flooded with customer service IMs or preoccupied with projects, you're not going to be able to give your family the attention they deserve.
• Are you having fun? Is the business stressing you out? Do you find yourself hoping your pets don't log on because you don't want to be bothered while you work? Are you snappy with your friends when you're trying to get something done? Do you ever get a chance to relax and just enjoy your second life? The longer stress, resentment, and exhaustion mount the more likely it is that you're just going to burn out. Be very honest here; it's important.
  

I must ashamedly admit that my own answers to the above questions are not good. I really do enjoy the work I do in Second Life- I love building, getting to know designers and residents, and helping tenants with their problems. But I only started doing all this stuff to provide a nice home for my family without having to pay for it. Now I have that and more, but I feel I barely have time or energy to enjoy it all.

Get the Balance Right
If you're so overworked you're neglecting your family and not having fun anymore, you need to find a way to balance your work, family, and personal time. Here are some ideas I'm personally considering or trying to implement now:

• Schedule "work-free" nights. If possible, set a day or two every week where you just don't do any business stuff. If your pets are comfortable with it, sign on as an alt that only they know about, so you're not distracted with customer IMs.
• Establish regular work hours. Most devoted SLers have a pretty regular online schedule. If you are so lucky, decide on a time window where you focus on your work, and then reserve the rest for family or private time. Although some of my recent projects have made this infeasible, on ordinary days I'm trying hard to get all my work stuff done within the first 15-30 minutes I'm online, then not even think about it for the rest of the session.
• Prioritize responsibly. Something I hear from many submissives whose dominants have SL businesses is that their dom/me will just teleport away at the drop of a hat the moment a customer of theirs demands attention. Some customer matters are more important than others, but please consider whether an ad-hoc support call really supersedes the immediate, precious time you have with your pets. If you'd prefer to be with your family, arrange a time when you can work with your customer. You'll find that most reasonable residents understand that you're busy and will accommodate your schedule.
  
• Listen to and observe your pets. Different subs have different levels of neediness. Every minute you spend on your work is a minute that they're without your guidance. Some are more self-sufficient than others, and many of them will not tell you when they're beginning to have a problem with the amount of time you're not spending with them. Read between the lines when they talk to you and watch for changes in behavior and schedule. If they stop logging in very regularly or often, they could be feeling neglected and hopeless.
• Look for ways to delegate labor. I'm very much a do-it-yourself kind of person, and sometimes it just doesn't even occur to me to distribute the workload. If you have some trusted, devoted pets, give them responsibilities. Make their roles clear and compensate them for their work, if not with money than with praise and quality time. If this is not a feasible option for you, try looking for a business partner or hiring someone from outside the family to help out.
• Downsize. Are you making more than enough money- so much that the effort you're putting in doesn't really justify the additional rewards? Scale back. It's hard to do- for ego reasons as well as logistical ones- but it's an option if you're overwhelmed. You're no good to your family if you're so overworked you can't focus. There's another, much more drastic option that I'd only recommend if you could make the same decision if your work were not a factor: If you have pets who are already not on very often, or whose long-term goals don't really sync up with yours, you might consider freeing them so they can find a better situation, and so that you can focus your remaining free time on the pets who will benefit the most from it. This is a terribly difficult thing to do, and should never be done lightly. Personally I've not come to that step yet, but I have almost completely cut back on entertaining any submissive friends who are not my collared slaves. It just wasn't fair of me to spend time with them when my collared pets were barely seeing me as it was.
• Relax!!! I agonize so much over how to split my time between my work and my pets that I frequently end up not just "having fun" at all. I'm serving my customers or serving my pets- who's serving me? Go explore, go dancing, get laid (*blush!*). A happy mistress is a healthy mistress.
  

A Second Life career can be both fun and rewarding in a number of ways, but just as in real life you must always weigh the personal benefits of your business with the needs of your family. I am personally not through the woods yet on this matter, and I pray my story serves to keep you wary of the potential issues of being a businesswoman domme. I'm also eager to hear any helpful suggestions from my peers.